01/02/2008: "New Year’s Resolutions..."

Let’s see … it’s already January 2nd. So by the time you read this, it’s a fair bet that your New Year’s Resolutions have probably slipped away, been downgraded, been forgotten.

It’s a familiar sensation. How do you feel about that? Remarkably un-upset? It seems that for most of us, the New Year’s Resolution is little more than a self-created stick you can use to beat yourself up with when, inevitably, you fail to deliver.

I think it’s because so many resolutions are the same old list. THIS TIME I’ll start exercising, stop smoking, lose weight, talk more with those I love, spend less time with those I don’t actually like…

It’s not that these are bad - they’re all very worthwhile, very noble. It’s just that they’re stale and tired. Not only have you had that resolution before, you’ve probably had it playing in the background of your mind throughout the year (”lose weight”… “still haven’t lost weight” … “still haven’t lost weight” … “still haven’t lost weight” …). On January 1, you just get to rub it in.

So let me offer you two different routes to get some oomph into your New Year’s Resolutions. Do at least one. Even better, do both.

A. Sound & Sensible
B. Pushing the edges
Click link for what these are...

A. Sound & Sensible

Much of this is to do with creating a “positive ritual” in your life. I discovered this concept in The Power of Full Engagement. Here they argue that as human beings we have only a small reservoir of conscious will and “in contrast to will and discipline, which imply pushing ourselves to action, a well-defined ritual pulls us.”

Here are 7 steps for success:

1. Pick just one challenge you want to tackle.
2. Make sure it really is important to you. Not was important 5 years ago, and now you’re still trying to solve it out of habit. Not important to someone else, and you feel guilty and obliged to take it on.
3. State it using the SMART formula:
- Specific (what is it?)
- Measurable (have you done it or not?)
- Achievable (can you actually do it?
- Relevant (do you want to do it?)
- Time-linked (when will you do it?)
4. Focus on the process rather than the outcome. In general, you can’t control the outcome (e.g. lose 40 lbs) but you can control the process (e.g. stop eating sugar). Make the process about your behaviour.
5. Set up structures that will support you in sticking to your resolution. Change your environment. Remove temptation. Create commitments. Generate carrots… and sticks. And above all else, find ways to keep reminding yourself of your goal - a note in your purse, a recurring note on your pda’s to-do list, a note on the bathroom mirror…
6. Set up accountability with someone. The impact this makes on whether you’ll get something done is tremendous. Here are some statistics from the American Society of Training and Development and the probability of successfully completing a goal:
- 10% if you hear an idea.
- 25% if you consciously decide to adopt it.
- 40% if you decide when you will do it.
- 50% if you plan how you will do it.
- 65% if you commit to someone else you will do it.
- 95% if you have a specific accountability appointment with the person to whom you committed.
7. When you slip, don’t abandon the goal. Be gentle with yourself, and recommit to the process and tweak the structures/accountability to make them work more effectively for you. What’s important is building this as a ritual. That’s why scientists have discovered it doesn’t really matter which diet you go on, just so long as you go on it for a year

B. Pushing the edges

I’d love you to take on something bold, daring and outrageous this year.

Seek out something that has you standing on the crossroad of excitement and terror, that makes you ask, “ooh… am I really allowed to do this?” After all, in 30 years time you’re not going to remember whether you went to the gym 20 or 200 times. So step out to the edges of your own boundaries, and hang out there for a while! Here some ideas to get you going…

Pick something outrageous! New Science magazine recently complied a list from eminent scientists of 100 things to do before you die. Join the 300 Club at the South Pole (Take a sauna to 200 degrees Fahrenheit, then run naked to the pole in minus 100 F). Touch a tiger (a live tiger!). Learn Choctaw, a language with two past tenses - one for giving information which is definitely true, the other for passing on material taken without checking from someone else.

What’s the juvenile thing to do? Hold a pyjama party? Launch a snowball attack on some unsuspecting neighbours? Do a DVD-a-thon, and watch 15 films in a row? Have a competition to see how many Smarties you can get in your mouth at once?

What’s the thing you’ll do if you come into a windfall? Bathe in champagne? Get that diamond set in your teeth. Give it all to Tsunami relief fund ?

Who’s the one person you want to cut out of your life? Who’s the mysterious stranger you’d like to get to know better?

What are 100 things it’s time to chuck out, give away? Not just the trash, but the stuff that’s meaningful… and yet you know you’d be better off without it.

What’s the hard truth you’ll finally face up to? That you’re in a limiting relationship? That you play the victim role with your boss? That you live a life based in fear rather than bravery?

What’s an act of pure, mad excess? Get “full sleeve” tattoos for both arms? Buy every flavour of Hagen Dazs ice-cream. Eat nothing but pizza for a week?

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The DiSanto's

01/02/2008: "New Year’s Resolutions..."